Why is it?

I don’t know about  you, but I find myself asking this question often. In my heart I know the answers, yet for some reason I still ask. Perhaps it’s because I’m unhappy with the circumstances that cause me to ask the question in the first place. Or perhaps I’m feeling a tad sorry for myself and want instant gratification; a validation from someone else that will instantly agree with my indignation of what has occurred which caused me to ask, “Why is it?” in the first place!

So my “why is it” today is caused by my inability to let things roll off my back. If these emotions are caused by strangers, no big deal. I can quack with the best of them. But when a family member causes me to ask, “why is it?,  that when I am loving, compassionate, considerate, giving, and kind, they still kick me in the stomach?

This has happened frequently. My friend asks why does it take me so long to learn that certain people behave certain ways and yet, I’m always surprised when they act the way they do? I expect better, that’ why. I give second chances; I give the benefit of the doubt; at the expense of my own feelings. It is hard for me to build walls, and even when I think I have, mean spirited comments or actions seem to seep through.

We live in a world that is rapidly becoming harder and harder to survive in the day to day living. What I mean by that is that you must watch your every word, your every gesture, your every move, lest someone be offended and take legal action against you. We live with everyone wanting to be catered to, excused, not held responsible for anything they might say or do. But if someone does it or says it to them, WATCH OUT... you’ll end up in court or the nightly news. “Political Correctness” is out of control. Frivolous lawsuits are out of control. Personal responsibility is a mere memory of “the good old days”. It doesn’t exist today... at least not in the majority. I fear that our “political correctness” and false vision of “respect”  or “equality” will turn us into a society of robots. I mean, there must be a balance to it all. If we don’t feel sadness, we will not appreciate happiness; without losing you don’t appreciate winning, etc. Facts of life, sometimes you lose, sometimes you win. Sometimes you feel sad, sometimes you feel happy. It’s nature, it’s balance, it’s life! Life changes, nature changes, and eventually, no matter how “politically correct” you were, you will still die. That is a fact.

If we must be so guarded with what we say in public, what we do, how we respond, how we behave as human beings; Why is it that the people who say they love us treat us so indifferently? Why is it that our loved ones are the only ones that can cut us to the quick?

Well, that is because of our love for them. Since our ‘love’ can be so pleasurable and yet so painful, should we all stop loving since it isn't always an instantaneous and continuous wonderfully glorious feeling?       Something to ponder.....

E. Susan Thomas Barger                   May 5, 2007