Thursday, August 26, 2010

Another Halloween Invitation for my friend

AN OFFER YOU CAN’T REFUSE


“Hey Youse, yea, I’m talkin’ to you!  The Capo de tuttie Capi has called a meetin’ of the whole Commission to announce the new Don of the Oliverio Family. All the Families will be called upon to offer up their respects to the new Don. It’s in your best interest, if ya know what I mean, to come with a celebratory attitude, if ya know what’s good for ya. Capisce?  If ya show some balls, maybe I introduce you to Don Oliverio personally, ya know?
Hey Paisan, come closer, yea, now listen up youse, the new Don is a woman! Yea, on the level,  no foolin’. The way I hears it, the Capo do tuttie Capi had no respect for Mr. Oliverio, who’s now just a memory, 
if you know what I mean. 
Hey, Pauly, explain our situation here.”   
“Sure Vito, sure, it was nothin’ personal, strictly business. The story is Vinny the Vise  helped our friend off to see his ancestors. I strongly suggest ya forgeddaboutit. 
Yo Vito, I dunno ‘bout youse, but it’s gonna be a little awkward showin’ respect to a woman, don’t ya think?”  

“Pauly, you stupid goomba, you talk through your ass because your mouth knows better. Capo chose this Don because she has more balls than youse and all your crew put together, so unless you don’t wanna be broken, I suggest youse keep your personal thoughts, ya know, personal?  The last babbo that talked like that got whacked in his sleep.  
So, back to business, Pauly, the Consigliere wants you to explain to our associate here, the details of the meetin’, if ya can do it without runnin’ off at the mouth.”

“Ok Vito, ok already. See it’s like this, the meetin’ is at Don Oliverio’s home on Friday, Oct. 30th, at 7pm.”  “What about the address Pauly? Don’t ya think our associate needs the address? What’s a matter with you, ya moron.”   “Please accept my sincere apologies. 

The address is                     Oh yeas, and if you can’t find the house, youse are instructed to call the Capo Bastone at           for further directions.  
“Hey Vito, I done good, hey?”  
“Yea, Pauly, I got no beef with you.” 
A few more items to be discussed here, Don Oliverio’s Enforcer is missin’ and she’s offered a handsome reward for anyone who is fortunate enough to find him. 
It is also strongly suggested that you do a thorough cleaning on your way so’s not to bring any uninvited guests, if you know what I mean. The Feds would like nothin’ better than to pinch all the Families at one time, ya know? 

To offer the proper respect for Don Oliverio, youse don’t wanna be late or be a no show, do they Pauly? “  “Not unless youse wanna get iced, he he he. Oh yea, it would be in your best interest to bring your own vino, or whatever it is youse drink.             

   HAPPY HALLOWEEN

1 comment:

  1. This one was composed for the same friend in 2009. The theme, of course, was Mafia.
    For the lingo I had to do some research to learn Mafiaspeak. It was quite fun writing it and a writer's exercise for me as I have never written dialog before. Hope you enjoy it.

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